Post by My Resilient Heart on Jan 29, 2021 21:41:41 GMT
Fantasy Bonds: The Problem With Loving Someone For Their 'Potential'
Sometimes people fall in love not with the person they're with but with who they hope that person might be one day. Have you ever said any of the following to yourself in your romantic relationships?
"I know when [insert event] happens, they will really get it together." "I see them for their potential." "I'm hanging in there because I think if they just change A, B, and C, they will be a wonderful partner." "I know deep down, there is good inside of them!"
If so, you might have been engaging in what clinical psychologist Robert Firestone, Ph.D., calls a "fantasy bond."